Beer and Loafing in LS11

Regeneration.

I was listening to Mike Garry's poem "Regeneration" this morning after another conversation on Twitter with @mikechitty. I decided to have a go at my own South Leeds version . . . it's not as gloomy as Mikes's poem, and I cobbled it together over my coffee break so it hardly constitutes literature. I had fun writing it though. It kept my brain ticking over at least.

Anyone with a delicate disposition be warned, this isn't a pretty verse about squirrels and fake village quaintness. This stuff really happens around the corner.

As I strolled out one summer morn
Down to town by Water Lane,
I met some ladies flogging porn,
favours for financial gain.

These girls aren't coy what they're about
And thrust their wares right in your face,
They don't leave you in the slightest doubt.
I scampered off at quite a pace.

It's really not about the price
of hand-job, blow-job, VIP
"A fiver extra, very nice"
"I'm sorry, not my cup of tea!"

The path just here is clogged with crap
and squelchy sex detritus;
At least they're conscious of the clap
And non-specific urethritus!

The faces of the guys who crawl
Are mean and keen and quite frustrated;
Until they're shagged against a wall
or down an alley get fellated.

One girl's as big as Hatty Jacques,
Green teeth and fierce demeanor;
One look, and traffic hits the brakes,
Her heft could dent your Beamer!

She's just displaying enterprise
Selling benefits not features;
I bet she causes some surprise
To regeneration preachers.

Those guys who plan in offices
To make our "village" clean and green
Hate that local orifices
Are used for something so obscene.

Working girls at least are honest
And leave their punters satisfied,
Unlike the prats in suits who promised
To make Holbeck nice. Those guys lied!

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